How Would You Define It?

I've been thinking about what constitutes success. In his book 101Best Ways to Get Ahead, author Michael Angier asked the likes of Bill Gates, Tony Blair, the Dalai Lama, and Lance Armstrong (and 97 others) this question, "What advice would you give a son, daughter, or grandchild? Based upon your knowledge and experience, what would you share with them that would be most helpful to them getting along and getting ahead in the world?" I believe the answer lies largely in how you define success.

You can read the entire article at www.livwithintention.org/mother.htm

What would your answer to the question be?

The "End" of Giving

Below is the final chapter of one reader’s 25 Days of Giving. I resonated with several of her insights and have commented at the end of each one. What comes up for you?

“First I learned that I get overwhelmed and stifled pretty easily. I am notorious for making excuses and talking myself out of action. What these last 25 days have shown me is that all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other. I have always envisioned a grand entrance into volunteering...when I have the time. I tell myself that when my kids are older, I will certainly give much more. Truth is I don't have to wait and my family doesn't have to suffer because of my desire to do for others. One small gesture can have a lasting ripple affect. A simple smile can change the course of a person's day. If that is all I have to give, it is more than enough.”

I have thought about the things that “take me out of action”. What is it for you? Have you heard of the Butterfly Effect? A butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil can create a hurricane in Texas. The idea is that small changes at the start of an event can start a chain of events that lead to enormous changes later on. Perseverance is a most valuable trait. Small acts are very important. Start now. Give what you have. No gift is too small or insignificant.

“I also learned that opening my heart to the needs of others changed the energy I present to the world. I typically have a very closed energy. I go about my business and truthfully avoid interaction with strangers. I'm sure much of that comes from childhood. I had a few scary stranger run-ins which created a tough exterior. Now that I am an adult, I can let down that guard and let people in, even if only for a minute or two. The other night I was at the Hobby Lobby and the girl in front of me just started talking to me. She obviously had things on her mind. She opened the conversation by telling me that she was exhausted and her trip was only half over. I had no idea what she was talking about but I asked her about it and she vented a little. Before now, that just wouldn't have happened”.

Love and compassion involve risk. Since everything in the world is about the nature and quality of our relationships, it’s a risk worth taking! If you want to heighten your intuition and awareness, brighten your day and someone else’s, and change the energy in the world, get outside yourself and pour into someone else.

“I learned that my kids really are sponges. They look to us for guidance on how to live their lives. When we feed them good food, their bodies thrive. When we feed them good information, their spirits and minds thrive. We have the power to instill so much. It takes a conscious effort but it is so worth it!”

Beautifully said. Kids are watching and listening. The most powerful tool we have is modeling the attitudes, beliefs and behaviors we want to instill. They are hungry for our time and attention and will rise (or fall) to our expectations. Carry on moms, dads, uncles and aunties, grandparents, teachers, coaches, neighbors, and friends of young people!

“I learned that I like discipline. It has always been a struggle for me. Many times I have wanted to blog everyday or exercise everyday but I always fall off the wagon. This is the first time in a long time that I put my mind to something and saw it through everyday for 25 days. I loved it! I loved the feeling of accomplishment and the way it changed me. You do have to do something consistently for a long period of time to see a change. And a change I have seen.”

Ah. The “D” word. The truth is, we all like it – and we need it. Where would you like to practice discipline this year in your life? When we fail to reach our goals it is rarely because of poor planning or inability. It is lack of commitment and follow-through. Set your sights and keep moving. Anaias Nin said, ”Be not afraid of moving slowly. Be afraid only of standing still.” Celebrate every small step and keep moving in the direction you wish to go. Get coaching support along the way!

“Most importantly I learned that one person truly can make a difference. I have been skeptical of that for a long time. One of the ways that I have talked myself out of acting is that if it's not big enough, it won't matter. So not true. In the small gestures we made, I could see a huge effect.”

I hear the sound of butterfly wings…

I will continue this habit, maybe not on a daily basis, but it is a part of me now. I am grateful for the experience and I look forward to committing to another 25 days. The catalyst for this was Christmas but it is an invaluable exercise any time of year!”

What a wonderful habit to make a part of who you are! Hearts and lives will be changed forever in ways you may never know but can feel and celebrate. I am inspired! I will be a volunteer mentor for women coming out of Human Trafficking and am on day number 4 of no sugar.

Share your thoughts, inspirations, and commitments! Together, one small act at a time, we CAN change the world.

“A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.“ Margaret Mead

Blessings,
Beth

Old-fashioned Values

My mom sent me this clip and it brought me to tears. It is my wish for each family and each one of our kids. Enjoy!

Ten as a Triangular Number

In the post below I talked about the significance of the number ten. Here is another facet for those of you who enjoy these studies as much as I do.
Triangular numbers are those that can be represented by an equilatersl triangle.
These won't publish the way I print them, but you get the idea if you think bowling pins.

For instance, the number 3 is the first triangular number:
0
0 0

The number 10 is the first triangular number that has a center:
0
0 0
0 0 0
0 0 0 0
0 0 0 0 0
It is the only triangular number in which the center is half the total number - pretty amazing.

The year 2010 holds great promise. Expect Amazing Things!

Start by Slowing Down

Happy New Year! Here we are again – shocked that another year has passed so quickly and looking forward with great anticipation to the new year ahead. Beginnings are so exciting! They signal the end of something and the chance to reevaluate, make changes, create a new plan, and begin with a clean slate.

It is the wee hours of the first day of 2010 as I write this. I have been outside wrapped in a blanket listening, thinking, dozing, being grateful. There is a full moon tonight with a huge white ring around it. It is also a Blue Moon which only happens every 2.7 years I have read; historically rare on December 31. Nature is my primary spiritual pathway. I would rather be outside than inside almost anytime so I notice and revel in these things. My relationship with God is my anchor and filter and I hear His voice most clearly in the quiet and beauty of creation. From that perspective, I’ve been reading about the number 10. It is the start of a whole new order of numbers and the culmination of the numbers that come before it. That is significant as we embark not just upon a new year, but a new decade, having just completed the first decade of a new century. Ten denotes perfect divine order through time and coming full circle. In this completion there is no lack or want.

Wow! Does that give you goosebumps and get you fired up to see what 2010 has in store? What do you need to see your vision HAPPEN this year?

A couple weeks ago I shared one reader’s commitment to 25 Days of Giving. Day 20 held blessing and power that I believe we could all use in the early days of 2010.

“This is a tough one. Probably the hardest I have yet to do. Day 20 I gave to myself. I gave myself forgiveness and compassion. I spent the day making Christmas gifts and never left the house. I thought about running to the computer to find something that I could quickly give money to but then decided that it was ok that I didn't get out into the world that day. I will certainly make up for it because I want to but I gave myself permission to fall down. For it is in the many reminders that I am not perfect that I find peace and contentment. It is my imperfections that make me human and make me, me. I am notoriously hard on myself and would ordinarily beat myself up for days. Or I would have thrown money at something to cover up my mistake. Not this time. I am proud of day 20. To me, it is a critical form of giving. Giving kindness, forgiveness and understanding to ourselves is a huge part of this process. Now back to giving to others!”

Extending grace and compassion to yourself is crucial to gaining clarity and direction. Stepping out of the world and your daily routine will create space and time for new ideas and real listening. Notice how she had to consciously deny the urge to get “busy”, do something, give money.

Start by slowing down. Allow yourself, in the next few days, an hour or two with absolutely no agenda. Don’t DO, just BE. Take a walk, curl up in your favorite chair, daydream, lie in a hot bath…

Then get out your journal and record whatever you heard or observed in your quiet time. Here are a couple reflection questions as you set out on the marvelous journey into 2010.

What was your greatest accomplishment in 2009? Was there a problem or challenge you tackled or overcame? Celebrate it!

What is your greatest challenge right now?

What area of your life will you focus on this year?

What do you need?

Who will you enlist to help, encourage, and support you?


I am grateful for what each of you brought to my life and work in 2009 and I am honored to go with you into 2010. As always, I am ready to support and coach you as you explore your vision and purpose.

Blessings,
Beth

Everybody's Fine

I saw the movie Everybody's Fine this weekend. Robert DeNiro is a recent widower, named Frank, who has four adult children and one grandson. He is retired after decades of applying protective coating to thousands of miles of telephone wire. Last week we talked about paradox and dichotomy. Let's add irony. This man who is very aware, and proud of, having helped billions of conversations to be carried through his wires, has avoided important conversations his entire life.

After his kids back out of a family visit at the last minute, he decides to surprise each one by going to them. Frank waits hours outside his son's apartment in N.Y. but he neither shows up nor answers the phone. Saddened, but determined, Frank boards a train for Chicago. His daughter is on edge at seeing him and there is a miserable dinner where his son-in-law and grandson are overtly at odds. He spends a little time talking and playing golf with his grandson and begins to understand that he has been cut significantly out of the loop in his family's lives. He is hustled off to Denver after only one night, with the lament of, "Oh dad, any week but this one." In Denver he begins to understand that his children are both intimidated by him and afraid of disappointing him; so they have pretended and dodged for a long time. His wife ran interference, protecting the kids by keeping things from him that would make him angry and be too hard on them, and protecting him by censoring information so he wouldn't worry or become angry. In Las Vegas he overhears a phone message that lets him know his daughter is lying to him about her circumstances. Tired and dejected he suffers a heart attack on the plane home.

While in and out of consciousness Frank gains clarity , realizing the truth of his relationships. He and his kids genuinely love and care for each other but the intimacy level is flatlined - just like his heart. He finally gets his kids in a room together, at unbearable cost. A horrible truth is revealed opening the door to intimacy and healing.

In this family a universal truth holds. No matter how difficult or painful; no matter how your heart pounds and your hands get clammy; no matter how much you DO NOT want to broach the subject; no matter how the other person might respond...It is ALWAYS best to have an honest conversation. It is ALWAYS good to speak the truth in LOVE. It is ALWAYS right to build honesty and intimacy into our relationships. I have never seen it fail. It is how we were meant to live.

This season, as you gather with family and friends, remember this universal truth. If something is broken, fix it. Write a letter. Take someone to see this movie - then begin an honest conversation. Make the phone call. Take the initiative. Go deep. Let the people that matter to you know how much they matter to you. Commit to begin 2010 with a clear, light heart and sound relationships. Then relax into genuine enjoyment and watch your world change!

Blessings to you,
Beth

Energize Your New Year

As each year closes it is good to take stock, then spend some time thinking about the new year ahead and how you would like it to take shape. I love a bright, clean page in my journal - a symbol of limitless possibilities to be recorded on a blank slate. No matter WHAT transpired in the year gone by, the future is shiny and new! The world is wide open!

To help me focus my thinking and energy I decide on a word, a theme, and a goal for the year.
2009 was the Year of Convergence.
WORD: Adventure
THEME: Walk with God
GOAL: (From the Hebrew word Yada) to know; to understand; to learn; to experience; to discern; to be willing; to be skillful; to be wise; to cause to know; to obey

I will be putting some quiet meditation into this exercise over the next couple weeks. I invite and encourage you to give it a go. Share your Word, Theme, and Goal for 2010. Anything and ALL things are POSSIBLE! Name it!
And Share it with us so we can all be fired up to jump into our new year!

Blessings,
Beth