Thursday we will gather in honor of Thanksgiving Day. It is a time to count our blessings and begin a season that is supposed to be filled with joy, peace, goodwill, fellowship, and fun. I think the reason the holidays are challenging for so many people is the dichotomy between what is “supposed” to transpire and the reality of stress and discouragement at this time of year.
I heard a report about five components of life. The middle three – Physical/Mental/Social/ - may rotate in order of importance or urgency; but the first one: Spiritual and the last one: Financial, must always maintain their order. I am inclined to agree. I know financial stressors are great and clamor for our attention. I am not minimizing the circumstances many of you find yourselves in. I also know that finding time for quiet meditation, prayer, or worship to nurture your spiritual relationship is easier to put off. The quiet whisper is drowned out by the clamor. To borrow a line from Oprah, here’s what I know for sure. Stressing, forcing, and striving are NOT helpful. They are harmful. God tells us to cease striving. Be still.
If I asked you to pick up a can of soup you could do it, right? What if I asked you to hold it for an hour? A day? A week? A month? A DECADE? Now imagine one in your other hand too. Maybe a couple in your purse or pocket. Do you see the cumulative effect of holding stressors over time? They are literal burdens that rob us of freedom, ease, comfort, peace, and joy (Do you hear the Christmas Carol in your head? Oh tidings of comfort and joy…)
This week listen for one full day and notice the number of complaints and discouraging words you hear. Notice the number of positive attitudes and expressions of gratitude you hear. How many of each came from YOUR mouth?
Go ahead and make your list of gratitudes. Keep first things first and take some time – even 5-10 minutes - to make your spiritual relationship your top priority. Let someone know how grateful you are for them and why you appreciate them (be specific). Do something great for your body. Hang out with someone you truly enjoy. Challenge your mind with something that engages you.
A man’s small plane went down on a remote island. After weeks of cold, hunger, and loneliness he had fashioned a small lean-to and could collect water and fish for food. One afternoon he returned to find that a spark from his cooking fire had burned all of his meager possessions. He laid down and cried in abject desolation. The next day a ship appeared on the horizon heading his way. He was rescued because of his smoke signal.
Look for the Blessing. Expect it. Give Thanks.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving Day,
Beth
Monday, November 23, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
To Friend or Unfriend?
This week “unfriend” ws declared the word of the year by the Oxford American Dictionary. It means “to remove someone as a friend on a social networking site”. The word’s merit derives from its currency and potential longevity.
This says something very unsettling about the mood of our culture. We “friend” and “unfriend” with abandon, and with disregard for the human being on the other end of the cyber exercise. Time spent in front of a screen collecting vast numbers of “friends”, and then “unfriending” those that fall short of our expectations on any given day, is an activity we need to be aware of. Each “friend” translates to a real person with real feelings.
I recently saw a t.v. commercial with a mom and two tween daughters at the mall. Mom is on her blackberry while the girls discuss a boy who is disappointing. In the time it takes mom to discover there is money for more shopping in her checking account, the girls “are so over him”.
This beautifully illustrates the reason we unplug for Family Night. No screens, no earphones, no beeps to remind us that someone wants our attention, no television, no telephones, no texting… Just you and your family - together, talking, listening, learning, working as a team, and enjoying each other face-to-face. With Family Night by the Book you will know exactly how to accomplish this feat with ease and fun! We even give you the makings of an Electronic Drop Box to help everyone be fully present without distractions.
The Quick Start kit includes a great lesson on friendship. Check it out!
This says something very unsettling about the mood of our culture. We “friend” and “unfriend” with abandon, and with disregard for the human being on the other end of the cyber exercise. Time spent in front of a screen collecting vast numbers of “friends”, and then “unfriending” those that fall short of our expectations on any given day, is an activity we need to be aware of. Each “friend” translates to a real person with real feelings.
I recently saw a t.v. commercial with a mom and two tween daughters at the mall. Mom is on her blackberry while the girls discuss a boy who is disappointing. In the time it takes mom to discover there is money for more shopping in her checking account, the girls “are so over him”.
This beautifully illustrates the reason we unplug for Family Night. No screens, no earphones, no beeps to remind us that someone wants our attention, no television, no telephones, no texting… Just you and your family - together, talking, listening, learning, working as a team, and enjoying each other face-to-face. With Family Night by the Book you will know exactly how to accomplish this feat with ease and fun! We even give you the makings of an Electronic Drop Box to help everyone be fully present without distractions.
The Quick Start kit includes a great lesson on friendship. Check it out!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Would You Have Noticed?
I have had several conversations and coaching sessions recently with people feeling restless, stressed, scattered, too busy – as if they are missing something, but cannot put their finger on it. Life is okay, family is doing well. Nothing is really wrong. But something is definitely not right.
Life is full, busy and fast. We often have the sense that what is most important and beautiful hovers on the periphery, just out of sight. Perhaps we will capture it tomorrow – or just as soon as we can carve out some time to really think about it.
We talk a lot here about staying in the moment; being mindful of what is happening in the present without thinking about the future, the past – or attending to the many thoughts that stream through all day long.
A couple of years ago Gene Weingarten, staff writer for the Washington Post, wrote a fascinating story about this very thing. I will cite parts in italics and you can read the complete article and watch the video by clicking here.
Joshua Bell, one of the world’s finest violinists, was asked to perform incognito as a street musician during morning rush-hour in a Washington,D.C. Metro station. He donned street clothes and took his 3.5 million dollar Stradivarius violin to a spot between the escalators, a shoe shine stand and a news kiosk. For 40 minutes he played some of the most beautiful and challenging music ever composed for over 1,000 people who passed by.
“The skin mags move, but it's that lottery ticket dispenser that stays the busiest, with customers queuing up for Daily 6 lotto and Powerball and the ultimate suckers' bait, those pamphlets that sell random number combinations purporting to be "hot." They sell briskly.
On Friday, January 12, the people waiting in the lottery line looking for a long shot would get a lucky break -- a free, close-up ticket to a concert by one of the world's most famous musicians -- but only if they were of a mind to take note.
Three minutes went by before something happened. Sixty-three people had already passed when, finally, there was a breakthrough of sorts. A middle-age man altered his gait for a split second, turning his head to notice that there seemed to be some guy playing music. Yes, the man kept walking, but it was something.
A half-minute later, Bell got his first donation. A woman threw in a buck and scooted off. It was not until six minutes into the performance that someone actually stood against a wall, and listened.
Things never got much better. In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance, at least for a minute. Twenty-seven gave money, most of them on the run -- for a total of $32 and change. That leaves the 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look.”
Mr. Bell admitted to being nervous, not knowing what to expect before he began. At first all his concentration was on playing the music, telling the story with his instrument. He didn’t really notice what was going on around him. He has played in the finest concert halls, with the finest orchestras, for crowned heads of state – where people stifle the slightest sound in awe and respect for his artistry. He acknowledged how strange it was to be ignored and to have no response as he finished a piece.
"At a music hall, I'll get upset if someone coughs or if someone's cellphone goes off. But here, my expectations quickly diminished. I started to appreciate any acknowledgment, even a slight glance up. I was oddly grateful when someone threw in a dollar instead of change."
I believe that everything important in life is about the nature and quality of our relationships and interactions with each other. That quote is profound. It speaks so deeply to our need to be acknowledged for who we are and what we have to contribute. I applaud Mr. Bell’s courage and vulnerability in revealing himself and his desire to connect with the people he was playing for.
Over 40 people were interviewed about their experience that morning. One mom, in a hurry to get her 3y.o old to day care and begin her day as an IT director for a federal agency, put her body between her son and Mr. Bell to keep him from pulling on her hand to stop and listen. All of the children who passed by noticed and wanted to stop, but were hurried along by adults…
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
-- from "Leisure," by W.H. Davies
“In his 2003 book, Timeless Beauty: In the Arts and Everyday Life, British author John Lane writes about the loss of the appreciation for beauty in the modern world. The experiment at L'Enfant Plaza may be symptomatic of that, he said -- not because people didn't have the capacity to understand beauty, but because it was irrelevant to them.
If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that -- then what else are we missing?”
Being mindful requires careful listening. In Falling Awake by Dave Ellis he says, “Most people think that listening is what we do when someone else talks. Actually, we can expand the meaning of the word listen to its large sense which means receiving everything at all times. Listening can be a way of life, an attitude toward all things, an open posture to the world. The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word listen: ‘To make a conscious effort to hear; to pay attention; to heed’. Listening fully means paying exquisite close attention. When you pay attention your world gets bigger.
Listening means receiving whatever the world is “sending”. At any given moment, the world is sending plenty – thousands of tastes, sights, aromas, sounds, textures, ideas and information just waiting to be noticed. If we’re not careful we might tune out this symphony of sights, sounds, and sensations.”
Are you listening to all the world is sending?
Would you have noticed the soaring beauty of Joshua Bell’s violin?
Would you have stopped to watch and listen?
Would you have acknowledged him with your eyes, a smile, a word of praise or thanks, a donation?
Blessings,
Beth
Life is full, busy and fast. We often have the sense that what is most important and beautiful hovers on the periphery, just out of sight. Perhaps we will capture it tomorrow – or just as soon as we can carve out some time to really think about it.
We talk a lot here about staying in the moment; being mindful of what is happening in the present without thinking about the future, the past – or attending to the many thoughts that stream through all day long.
A couple of years ago Gene Weingarten, staff writer for the Washington Post, wrote a fascinating story about this very thing. I will cite parts in italics and you can read the complete article and watch the video by clicking here.
Joshua Bell, one of the world’s finest violinists, was asked to perform incognito as a street musician during morning rush-hour in a Washington,D.C. Metro station. He donned street clothes and took his 3.5 million dollar Stradivarius violin to a spot between the escalators, a shoe shine stand and a news kiosk. For 40 minutes he played some of the most beautiful and challenging music ever composed for over 1,000 people who passed by.
“The skin mags move, but it's that lottery ticket dispenser that stays the busiest, with customers queuing up for Daily 6 lotto and Powerball and the ultimate suckers' bait, those pamphlets that sell random number combinations purporting to be "hot." They sell briskly.
On Friday, January 12, the people waiting in the lottery line looking for a long shot would get a lucky break -- a free, close-up ticket to a concert by one of the world's most famous musicians -- but only if they were of a mind to take note.
Three minutes went by before something happened. Sixty-three people had already passed when, finally, there was a breakthrough of sorts. A middle-age man altered his gait for a split second, turning his head to notice that there seemed to be some guy playing music. Yes, the man kept walking, but it was something.
A half-minute later, Bell got his first donation. A woman threw in a buck and scooted off. It was not until six minutes into the performance that someone actually stood against a wall, and listened.
Things never got much better. In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance, at least for a minute. Twenty-seven gave money, most of them on the run -- for a total of $32 and change. That leaves the 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look.”
Mr. Bell admitted to being nervous, not knowing what to expect before he began. At first all his concentration was on playing the music, telling the story with his instrument. He didn’t really notice what was going on around him. He has played in the finest concert halls, with the finest orchestras, for crowned heads of state – where people stifle the slightest sound in awe and respect for his artistry. He acknowledged how strange it was to be ignored and to have no response as he finished a piece.
"At a music hall, I'll get upset if someone coughs or if someone's cellphone goes off. But here, my expectations quickly diminished. I started to appreciate any acknowledgment, even a slight glance up. I was oddly grateful when someone threw in a dollar instead of change."
I believe that everything important in life is about the nature and quality of our relationships and interactions with each other. That quote is profound. It speaks so deeply to our need to be acknowledged for who we are and what we have to contribute. I applaud Mr. Bell’s courage and vulnerability in revealing himself and his desire to connect with the people he was playing for.
Over 40 people were interviewed about their experience that morning. One mom, in a hurry to get her 3y.o old to day care and begin her day as an IT director for a federal agency, put her body between her son and Mr. Bell to keep him from pulling on her hand to stop and listen. All of the children who passed by noticed and wanted to stop, but were hurried along by adults…
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
-- from "Leisure," by W.H. Davies
“In his 2003 book, Timeless Beauty: In the Arts and Everyday Life, British author John Lane writes about the loss of the appreciation for beauty in the modern world. The experiment at L'Enfant Plaza may be symptomatic of that, he said -- not because people didn't have the capacity to understand beauty, but because it was irrelevant to them.
If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that -- then what else are we missing?”
Being mindful requires careful listening. In Falling Awake by Dave Ellis he says, “Most people think that listening is what we do when someone else talks. Actually, we can expand the meaning of the word listen to its large sense which means receiving everything at all times. Listening can be a way of life, an attitude toward all things, an open posture to the world. The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word listen: ‘To make a conscious effort to hear; to pay attention; to heed’. Listening fully means paying exquisite close attention. When you pay attention your world gets bigger.
Listening means receiving whatever the world is “sending”. At any given moment, the world is sending plenty – thousands of tastes, sights, aromas, sounds, textures, ideas and information just waiting to be noticed. If we’re not careful we might tune out this symphony of sights, sounds, and sensations.”
Are you listening to all the world is sending?
Would you have noticed the soaring beauty of Joshua Bell’s violin?
Would you have stopped to watch and listen?
Would you have acknowledged him with your eyes, a smile, a word of praise or thanks, a donation?
Blessings,
Beth
Thursday, October 29, 2009
From Your Head to Your Mouth
“It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.”
Writer Sally Kempton
Last week we talked about the power of our thoughts, both positive and negative. If you missed it you can read the article “It’s All in Your Head” on the website or scroll down and read it here.
Right behind our thoughts come our spoken words (or in some unfortunate cases, our mouths get out in front of our heads). The following is paraphrased from In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado.
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such majesty, splendor and strength.
People offered great sums for the steed but the man loved the horse and refused to sell, despite his poverty and great temptation.
One morning the horse was gone from his stable. The villagers called the old man a fool for not selling the horse before someone stole it. They scoffed at him for thinking he could hold and protect such an animal. He could have named his price, now the horse was gone and he was cursed with misfortune.
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know or judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The villagers laughed, more convinced that he was indeed a fool. He could have lived in luxury, but
was living in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven he was a fool with his foolish words.
Two weeks later the horse returned, bringing a dozen beautiful wild horses with him. The villagers gathered around him saying, “Old man you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again you go too far. Say only that the horse is back and he has brought a dozen horses with him. Don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment, not the whole story. Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t”.
“Maybe the old man is right”, they said to one another, so they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. The horses could be broken and sold for much money.
The old man had an only son. He began to work with the wild horses to break them. Soon after, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. The villagers gathered once again to cast their judgments. “You were right. The horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs and cannot help you in your old age and you are poorer than ever.”
“You people are obsessed with judging”, the old man said. “Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? We have only a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”
Several weeks later the country went to war and all the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded due to his injury. The villagers gathered around crying and wailing because their sons had been taken. The enemy was fierce and the young men were unlikely to return.
“God knows you were right old man”, they wept. “Your sons broken legs were a blessing. At least he is with you and our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again, “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
This story illustrates how our thoughts and words get us into a swirl of doubt and anxiety. We follow it up with lamenting and judgment that may or may not be true. The end result is a mass of reactionary chaos inside and out. Remember, a thought is just a thought until we attach meaning and emotion to it and act on it.
When we can take a step back, observe what “is”, and avoid making interpretations, we are in a calmer more focused position to think clearly and problem solve. Mark Twain said, “I have known a great many disasters in my life. Most of them never happened.”
How we speak about the events and circumstances of our lives has great impact on how we respond. Notice your tone and your inflection. Observe how the meaning behind your words colors both your choice of words and how they sound to your own ears. Then follow the action. What behavior results from the way you talk about the event or circumstance? Do others join you and follow your lead? What happens to the relationship(s) involved?
Since the economic downturn my business has slowed. When people asked me how things were going I would say, “It has slowed down some. I am not as busy as I would like to be.” That was true, but I began to notice some resignation in my voice. Now I say, “My clients are making great progress and I am always looking for new and exciting opportunities.” Do you hear the difference? It is also true that opportunities and clients abound. There are still 6 billion people (potential clients) on the planet and no money has left the earth either. It is still here. There is no lack or shortage. And – lo and behold – some new and exciting opportunities are showing up.
There is great power in our thoughts and words. Choose and speak wisely. Refuse to participate in negativity.
Life is DEEP and it is W I D E
emerge…Explore…EXPAND
Beth
Writer Sally Kempton
Last week we talked about the power of our thoughts, both positive and negative. If you missed it you can read the article “It’s All in Your Head” on the website or scroll down and read it here.
Right behind our thoughts come our spoken words (or in some unfortunate cases, our mouths get out in front of our heads). The following is paraphrased from In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado.
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such majesty, splendor and strength.
People offered great sums for the steed but the man loved the horse and refused to sell, despite his poverty and great temptation.
One morning the horse was gone from his stable. The villagers called the old man a fool for not selling the horse before someone stole it. They scoffed at him for thinking he could hold and protect such an animal. He could have named his price, now the horse was gone and he was cursed with misfortune.
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know or judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The villagers laughed, more convinced that he was indeed a fool. He could have lived in luxury, but
was living in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven he was a fool with his foolish words.
Two weeks later the horse returned, bringing a dozen beautiful wild horses with him. The villagers gathered around him saying, “Old man you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again you go too far. Say only that the horse is back and he has brought a dozen horses with him. Don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment, not the whole story. Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t”.
“Maybe the old man is right”, they said to one another, so they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. The horses could be broken and sold for much money.
The old man had an only son. He began to work with the wild horses to break them. Soon after, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. The villagers gathered once again to cast their judgments. “You were right. The horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs and cannot help you in your old age and you are poorer than ever.”
“You people are obsessed with judging”, the old man said. “Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? We have only a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”
Several weeks later the country went to war and all the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded due to his injury. The villagers gathered around crying and wailing because their sons had been taken. The enemy was fierce and the young men were unlikely to return.
“God knows you were right old man”, they wept. “Your sons broken legs were a blessing. At least he is with you and our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again, “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
This story illustrates how our thoughts and words get us into a swirl of doubt and anxiety. We follow it up with lamenting and judgment that may or may not be true. The end result is a mass of reactionary chaos inside and out. Remember, a thought is just a thought until we attach meaning and emotion to it and act on it.
When we can take a step back, observe what “is”, and avoid making interpretations, we are in a calmer more focused position to think clearly and problem solve. Mark Twain said, “I have known a great many disasters in my life. Most of them never happened.”
How we speak about the events and circumstances of our lives has great impact on how we respond. Notice your tone and your inflection. Observe how the meaning behind your words colors both your choice of words and how they sound to your own ears. Then follow the action. What behavior results from the way you talk about the event or circumstance? Do others join you and follow your lead? What happens to the relationship(s) involved?
Since the economic downturn my business has slowed. When people asked me how things were going I would say, “It has slowed down some. I am not as busy as I would like to be.” That was true, but I began to notice some resignation in my voice. Now I say, “My clients are making great progress and I am always looking for new and exciting opportunities.” Do you hear the difference? It is also true that opportunities and clients abound. There are still 6 billion people (potential clients) on the planet and no money has left the earth either. It is still here. There is no lack or shortage. And – lo and behold – some new and exciting opportunities are showing up.
There is great power in our thoughts and words. Choose and speak wisely. Refuse to participate in negativity.
Life is DEEP and it is W I D E
emerge…Explore…EXPAND
Beth
Friday, October 23, 2009
It's All in Your Head
Scientific studies have estimated that you have about 60,000 thoughts each day. That’s pretty impressive huh? Until you realize that 98% of those are pretty much the same ones you had yesterday.
Victor Frankel was an Austrian neurologist and psychologist who survived the Holocaust in a Nazi concentration camp. He chronicles his experiences as an inmate and describes his psychotherapeutic method of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most sordid ones, and thus a reason to continue living.
Under Frankel’s care and encouragement, if a prisoner felt that he could no longer endure the realities of camp life, he found a way out in his mental life – an invaluable opportunity to dwell in the spiritual domain, the one that the SS were unable to destroy. Spiritual life strengthened the prisoner, helped him adapt, and thereby improved his chances of survival. Frankel attributes his own survival to the strength and health of his thought life.
I hope none of us ever have to face the horrors of a concentration camp – to challenge ourselves to maintain a positive outlook and a healthy thought life under such frightening conditions. Yet our everyday thought processes can trip us up in ways we may be completely unaware of.
Last week I discovered that Ravi Zacharias, a remarkable man and brilliant Christian apologist, is going to be at ASU for an open forum. The event is free but a ticket is required. I had two days before leaving town to secure tickets. I should also note that he is on my list of the people I would most like to meet in my life – strong motivation to get myself a seat! Procrastination is a thought process that creates obstacles in my life. Perhaps you are familiar with internal phrases like, “I will get that done tomorrow”; or “I’ll be going that way in a couple days and will take care of it then” or “I still have plenty of time.”
I left town for 4 days, procrastinated for 2 more and – SOLD OUT! This morning I had a good cry, chastised myself heartily and determined that I will go on the day of the event and camp out for several hours. I spoke to my friend Sally (thank you!) who suggested I call and see if there are volunteer opportunities that would get me inside. I am on a “list” and must call back on Monday morning. I repeated my name four times, expressed my strong desire to be a part of this event, and begged. We shall see…
Metacognition is a term that entails thinking about what you are thinking about vs. just having thoughts. People of strength are those who are firmly anchored. They are clear about their values, they are critical thinkers, and their thought life contributes to – and solidifies – their convictions. Thoughts are just thoughts. We don’t have to believe them or act on them. They have no meaning until we attach meaning and emotion to them. AND our thoughts have power. Acting on them after careful consideration translates that power into results.
I sincerely hope I will be able to hear Ravi Zacharias speak. If so, it will be an exciting and precious time indeed and made more so by the near miss. The point is, I could have avoided all of this turmoil by practicing a little metacognition, by moving and acting on a thought rather than dismissing it without really considering the ramifications. Stop and consider for a moment what the 98% of recurring thoughts each day could generate if we put a little thought into our thoughts. Where are you draining energy and power in your thought life? How could you shift your thinking to become an anchor and a place of strength for you? How does your spiritual connection generate power and conviction in your life?
“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if
anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8,9 Bible
Blessings,
Beth
Victor Frankel was an Austrian neurologist and psychologist who survived the Holocaust in a Nazi concentration camp. He chronicles his experiences as an inmate and describes his psychotherapeutic method of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most sordid ones, and thus a reason to continue living.
Under Frankel’s care and encouragement, if a prisoner felt that he could no longer endure the realities of camp life, he found a way out in his mental life – an invaluable opportunity to dwell in the spiritual domain, the one that the SS were unable to destroy. Spiritual life strengthened the prisoner, helped him adapt, and thereby improved his chances of survival. Frankel attributes his own survival to the strength and health of his thought life.
I hope none of us ever have to face the horrors of a concentration camp – to challenge ourselves to maintain a positive outlook and a healthy thought life under such frightening conditions. Yet our everyday thought processes can trip us up in ways we may be completely unaware of.
Last week I discovered that Ravi Zacharias, a remarkable man and brilliant Christian apologist, is going to be at ASU for an open forum. The event is free but a ticket is required. I had two days before leaving town to secure tickets. I should also note that he is on my list of the people I would most like to meet in my life – strong motivation to get myself a seat! Procrastination is a thought process that creates obstacles in my life. Perhaps you are familiar with internal phrases like, “I will get that done tomorrow”; or “I’ll be going that way in a couple days and will take care of it then” or “I still have plenty of time.”
I left town for 4 days, procrastinated for 2 more and – SOLD OUT! This morning I had a good cry, chastised myself heartily and determined that I will go on the day of the event and camp out for several hours. I spoke to my friend Sally (thank you!) who suggested I call and see if there are volunteer opportunities that would get me inside. I am on a “list” and must call back on Monday morning. I repeated my name four times, expressed my strong desire to be a part of this event, and begged. We shall see…
Metacognition is a term that entails thinking about what you are thinking about vs. just having thoughts. People of strength are those who are firmly anchored. They are clear about their values, they are critical thinkers, and their thought life contributes to – and solidifies – their convictions. Thoughts are just thoughts. We don’t have to believe them or act on them. They have no meaning until we attach meaning and emotion to them. AND our thoughts have power. Acting on them after careful consideration translates that power into results.
I sincerely hope I will be able to hear Ravi Zacharias speak. If so, it will be an exciting and precious time indeed and made more so by the near miss. The point is, I could have avoided all of this turmoil by practicing a little metacognition, by moving and acting on a thought rather than dismissing it without really considering the ramifications. Stop and consider for a moment what the 98% of recurring thoughts each day could generate if we put a little thought into our thoughts. Where are you draining energy and power in your thought life? How could you shift your thinking to become an anchor and a place of strength for you? How does your spiritual connection generate power and conviction in your life?
“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if
anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8,9 Bible
Blessings,
Beth
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Speak Your Significance
I love writing this newsletter. I love who you are and how you express yourselves and share your hearts and minds. I love your willingness to be vulnerable and just put it out there. I love being able to pass on your wisdom.
Did you know that MOMS constitute the largest blog group in the world? Talk about power and something to say! Recently a reader discovered that her blog - temporarily a source of pain, embarrassment, and hiding - had become the catalyst for some deep knowing, personal significance, and the voice of heart expression.
She was asked at a casual social gathering with people she didn't know well,why she thought anyone would be interested in her mundane daily activities. Here are some excerpts of her thoughts.
"That very thought has crossed my own mind periodically. It's that dark, nasty voice that tries to deter us from doing anything significant or meaningful. It's that voice that makes us our own worst enemy. I have fought that rotten voice off for the 3+ years I have blogged and crafted, reminding myself to ignore it and carry on. Well that one fateful night last year was the physical manifestation of "the voice". It looked me in the eye and told me that I have no place speaking publicly. That my life is insignificant and no one cares. Sadly, that was more than I could take. I subconsciously decided to close up shop and quietly retreat back to my apparently insignificant life as a stay at home mom."
She admits to being disappointed in herself for not recognizing the mean spirited intent, calling it out, and moving on.
"I allowed this person to take my voice. Not the nasty one but the self-expressive one. The one that makes me feel alive and connected. The one that allows me to vent all of this creative and occasionally stifled energy and, in turn, makes me a better mother...a better person.
Over the months that I remained quiet, a very sad thing happened. I lost my voice. I forgot all that makes my mind race and my pulse speed up. Last week I realized how much I missed this little outlet of mine. Sharing about my family and daily activities is fun and I love that my distant relatives and friends can stay in the know, but what I missed most was sharing me. My thoughts, my hardships, my isms and revelations. I processed my thoughts this way and, most importantly, I received good, positive feedback from people who cared.
So here I am, confessing the truth and standing up to say...no yell
MY LIFE MATTERS. MY THOUGHTS MATTER. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY IN AS PUBLIC A PLACE AS I WANT TO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT...HECK YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO COME HERE AT ALL. BUT IF YOU DO, MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN. AMEN"
Where are you denying your voice? Your heart? Your significance?
Where have you not told yourself the truth?
What are you longing to say - or YELL?
Did you know that MOMS constitute the largest blog group in the world? Talk about power and something to say! Recently a reader discovered that her blog - temporarily a source of pain, embarrassment, and hiding - had become the catalyst for some deep knowing, personal significance, and the voice of heart expression.
She was asked at a casual social gathering with people she didn't know well,why she thought anyone would be interested in her mundane daily activities. Here are some excerpts of her thoughts.
"That very thought has crossed my own mind periodically. It's that dark, nasty voice that tries to deter us from doing anything significant or meaningful. It's that voice that makes us our own worst enemy. I have fought that rotten voice off for the 3+ years I have blogged and crafted, reminding myself to ignore it and carry on. Well that one fateful night last year was the physical manifestation of "the voice". It looked me in the eye and told me that I have no place speaking publicly. That my life is insignificant and no one cares. Sadly, that was more than I could take. I subconsciously decided to close up shop and quietly retreat back to my apparently insignificant life as a stay at home mom."
She admits to being disappointed in herself for not recognizing the mean spirited intent, calling it out, and moving on.
"I allowed this person to take my voice. Not the nasty one but the self-expressive one. The one that makes me feel alive and connected. The one that allows me to vent all of this creative and occasionally stifled energy and, in turn, makes me a better mother...a better person.
Over the months that I remained quiet, a very sad thing happened. I lost my voice. I forgot all that makes my mind race and my pulse speed up. Last week I realized how much I missed this little outlet of mine. Sharing about my family and daily activities is fun and I love that my distant relatives and friends can stay in the know, but what I missed most was sharing me. My thoughts, my hardships, my isms and revelations. I processed my thoughts this way and, most importantly, I received good, positive feedback from people who cared.
So here I am, confessing the truth and standing up to say...no yell
MY LIFE MATTERS. MY THOUGHTS MATTER. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY IN AS PUBLIC A PLACE AS I WANT TO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT...HECK YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO COME HERE AT ALL. BUT IF YOU DO, MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN. AMEN"
Where are you denying your voice? Your heart? Your significance?
Where have you not told yourself the truth?
What are you longing to say - or YELL?
Sunday, September 13, 2009
FAITH, HOPE, PROMISE
I had the great privilege and pleasure to attend a Tea Party Express Rally last week. It was held in a park in my home town, Mishawaka Indiana, just blocks from my childhood home. Whatever your politics, it is crucial that your voice be heard.
Watch this video and know that God knows, sees, hears and is ever present.
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