I have been asked by the Arizona Republic to talk about whether or not kids should attend and alternatives if they do not participate. The following is my submission. Whatever your politics or whether or not your kids will attend, this is a crucial conversation in our families, schools, communities, society, and in our churches and synagogues.
Blessings,
Beth
I have spent the last hour on google to get some perspective on this issue. My understanding of what the students will be asked to think about and answer is as follows:
During the Speech:
• As the President speaks, teachers can ask students to write down key ideas or phrases that are important or personally meaningful. Students could use a note-taking graphic organizer such as a Cluster Web, or students could record their thoughts on sticky notes. Younger children can draw pictures and write as appropriate. As students listen to the speech, they could think about the following:
What is the President trying to tell me?
What is the President asking me to do?
What new ideas and actions is the President challenging me to think about?
• Students can record important parts of the speech where the President is asking them to do something. Students might think about: What specific job is he asking me to do? Is he asking anything of anyone else? Teachers? Principals? Parents? The American people?
• Students can record any questions they have while he is speaking and then discuss them after the speech. Younger children may need to dictate their questions.
After the Speech:
• Teachers could ask students to share the ideas they recorded, exchange sticky notes or stick notes on a butcher paper poster in the classroom to discuss main ideas from the speech, i.e. citizenship, personal responsibility, civic duty.
• Students could discuss their responses to the following questions:
What do you think the President wants us to do?
Does the speech make you want to do anything?
Are we able to do what President Obama is asking of us
It would benefit all concerned to have more information about the content of the speech before deciding whether or not to allow children to participate. As a parent, grandparent, psychotherapist, and parenting coach here is what I believe to be important and helpful from the information available.
Discussion about civic and personal responsibility, the value of education, the importance of setting and achieving goals, and encouraging others along the way is extremely important and valuable conversation. I coach parents to engage with their kids on these topics and give them the tools to do so.
So where’s the rub? We want our kids to be critical thinkers, to have good problem solving skills, to be able to express their opinions and debate issues with those of opposing viewpoints. Parents, you’re on! The family is the place to learn these skills and practice them. Your child’s belief system determines how he moves through the world and you are the primary source of that set of beliefs. If we want our kids to make value based decisions, we need to be sure they have a firm grasp of those values and understand clearly why it is important to live and behave in a particular way.
Whether your kids will be in or out of school on Tuesday September 8, this is a wonderful opportunity to have some honest, direct, family-values conversation.
If your child will be participating, be there next to him. Take notes. Find out what your child is thinking about, dreaming for herself , and what worries him. Be crystal clear in your own mind and heart what your values are and what you want to instill in your kids. You set your family’s culture and identity.
Take each point and run it through the filter of your family’s values and beliefs. If you say, “The Smith kids study hard and do their best.” or “In our family being a student is your job, just like mom and dad have jobs.” Or “Our family believes it is important to volunteer our time and money to help those who cannot help themselves.” Or “We value hard work and taking responsibility for our words and actions.” Or “ Our family values include honesty, pitching in, speaking the truth in love, respect for ourselves and others, and worshipping God together.”(add all your own family beliefs and values here) – then you can listen to the speech and easily and clearly decide what is aligned with your family culture and values. Your children will be able to discern those things that do not align and you have an amazing conversation underway
I encourage you all to choose your words carefully. Emotions and opinions are all over the map on this one. Your kids are watching and listening. Do not provoke them to anger or fear. Use this for the good of your family. Use this to have safe, meaningful, discussions about tough topics with those whose views may differ from your own. Use this to teach your kids how to do that. Use this to find out what your kids are thinking and feeling. Use this to deepen your relationships. Use this!
Beth Madigan
Parent Coach
602.626.8036
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