Everybody's Fine

I saw the movie Everybody's Fine this weekend. Robert DeNiro is a recent widower, named Frank, who has four adult children and one grandson. He is retired after decades of applying protective coating to thousands of miles of telephone wire. Last week we talked about paradox and dichotomy. Let's add irony. This man who is very aware, and proud of, having helped billions of conversations to be carried through his wires, has avoided important conversations his entire life.

After his kids back out of a family visit at the last minute, he decides to surprise each one by going to them. Frank waits hours outside his son's apartment in N.Y. but he neither shows up nor answers the phone. Saddened, but determined, Frank boards a train for Chicago. His daughter is on edge at seeing him and there is a miserable dinner where his son-in-law and grandson are overtly at odds. He spends a little time talking and playing golf with his grandson and begins to understand that he has been cut significantly out of the loop in his family's lives. He is hustled off to Denver after only one night, with the lament of, "Oh dad, any week but this one." In Denver he begins to understand that his children are both intimidated by him and afraid of disappointing him; so they have pretended and dodged for a long time. His wife ran interference, protecting the kids by keeping things from him that would make him angry and be too hard on them, and protecting him by censoring information so he wouldn't worry or become angry. In Las Vegas he overhears a phone message that lets him know his daughter is lying to him about her circumstances. Tired and dejected he suffers a heart attack on the plane home.

While in and out of consciousness Frank gains clarity , realizing the truth of his relationships. He and his kids genuinely love and care for each other but the intimacy level is flatlined - just like his heart. He finally gets his kids in a room together, at unbearable cost. A horrible truth is revealed opening the door to intimacy and healing.

In this family a universal truth holds. No matter how difficult or painful; no matter how your heart pounds and your hands get clammy; no matter how much you DO NOT want to broach the subject; no matter how the other person might respond...It is ALWAYS best to have an honest conversation. It is ALWAYS good to speak the truth in LOVE. It is ALWAYS right to build honesty and intimacy into our relationships. I have never seen it fail. It is how we were meant to live.

This season, as you gather with family and friends, remember this universal truth. If something is broken, fix it. Write a letter. Take someone to see this movie - then begin an honest conversation. Make the phone call. Take the initiative. Go deep. Let the people that matter to you know how much they matter to you. Commit to begin 2010 with a clear, light heart and sound relationships. Then relax into genuine enjoyment and watch your world change!

Blessings to you,
Beth

Energize Your New Year

As each year closes it is good to take stock, then spend some time thinking about the new year ahead and how you would like it to take shape. I love a bright, clean page in my journal - a symbol of limitless possibilities to be recorded on a blank slate. No matter WHAT transpired in the year gone by, the future is shiny and new! The world is wide open!

To help me focus my thinking and energy I decide on a word, a theme, and a goal for the year.
2009 was the Year of Convergence.
WORD: Adventure
THEME: Walk with God
GOAL: (From the Hebrew word Yada) to know; to understand; to learn; to experience; to discern; to be willing; to be skillful; to be wise; to cause to know; to obey

I will be putting some quiet meditation into this exercise over the next couple weeks. I invite and encourage you to give it a go. Share your Word, Theme, and Goal for 2010. Anything and ALL things are POSSIBLE! Name it!
And Share it with us so we can all be fired up to jump into our new year!

Blessings,
Beth

25 Days of Giving

I am often touched and inspired by the thoughts and actions of all of you. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me and allowing me to pass on your wisdom, compassion, and profound thinking. This is from someone very dear to me and a loyal reader. May it get your compassionate and creative juices flowing!

“Every year around this time I feel a twinge in my heart. It's the feeling that I am abundantly blessed combined with the reminder that there are so many people hurting and doing without. Those who are blessed, go out and be a blessing. That is what I would like to do. I have always believed that it is my job as a mother to teach my children to make the world a better place. What better way to do that than using our own 2 hands?

So this holiday season we are going to do our very best to give everyday until Christmas. That leaves us 25 days to give, give. give. The options really are endless. It can be small or rather large. I hope to try it all these next 25 days. I am posting this adventure here in hopes that it holds me accountable. How often do we have a desire to do something but lack the follow through? I do hope that you will keep me honest and moving forward.

They say that habits form in 21 days. Hopefully this exercise in looking beyond ourselves will become a habit. I'll be filling you in on our progress. And please join in if you feel so inclined. Don't feel overwhelmed by the 25 straight days thing. There are no rules with this, just give from your heart, once or a hundred times.. I trust that God will put our effort where it needs to be. Happy 25 days of giving!

We bought and delivered 2 bags full of baby food for the girls' preschool to distribute to babies in need. Woo hoo for day number 2!!
On a side note, I just have to mention that this exercise is really powerful. I panicked a bit after I hit the publish button yesterday. For a split second I wondered why I had committed to what felt like a huge feat. And if I fail I will be so disappointed in myself. And then...I remembered that I have to leave the Negative Nelly voice behind and step out in faith. I have to trust that my desire to make a difference and God's desire to have us make a difference is more than enough to get us through 25 days. Since that realization I find myself coming up with all kinds of new giving ideas. There is truly no shortage of options and most take no more than a few minutes to complete. I am grateful for this challenge and I am being transformed already.

I heard that our children are being referred to as "Generation Me". Ugh. I don't know about you but I sure don't want to contribute to "Generation Me"! I hope this exercise will have a lasting affect on my children. I hope we continue to find joy in giving long after these 25 days are over.”


Thus far this family has distributed blankets and bag lunches to homeless people, put a small surprise in the mailbox for their carrier, written notes and sent snacks to our brave soldiers, given grocery certificates, paid for the car behind them at McDonald’s, and left flowers on doorsteps. There are reports that unusual levels of kindness and thoughtfulness are happening betwixt siblings. I am told this mama is experiencing more joy, patience, and peace as she moves through her days. Dad has been seen performing random acts of kindness and offering suggestions for giving. An adult sister has joined in the fun and taken it to the streets in her own life.

See a need and fill it. Pass it on. If you have been blessed, be a blessing. If you have a need, allow someone to help you. It can also expand our hearts to receive. We are meant to do life together, to lift each other up, and to practice a “one another” mentality.

Give. Receive. Be blessed.
Beth

LOOK FOR IT

Thursday we will gather in honor of Thanksgiving Day. It is a time to count our blessings and begin a season that is supposed to be filled with joy, peace, goodwill, fellowship, and fun. I think the reason the holidays are challenging for so many people is the dichotomy between what is “supposed” to transpire and the reality of stress and discouragement at this time of year.

I heard a report about five components of life. The middle three – Physical/Mental/Social/ - may rotate in order of importance or urgency; but the first one: Spiritual and the last one: Financial, must always maintain their order. I am inclined to agree. I know financial stressors are great and clamor for our attention. I am not minimizing the circumstances many of you find yourselves in. I also know that finding time for quiet meditation, prayer, or worship to nurture your spiritual relationship is easier to put off. The quiet whisper is drowned out by the clamor. To borrow a line from Oprah, here’s what I know for sure. Stressing, forcing, and striving are NOT helpful. They are harmful. God tells us to cease striving. Be still.

If I asked you to pick up a can of soup you could do it, right? What if I asked you to hold it for an hour? A day? A week? A month? A DECADE? Now imagine one in your other hand too. Maybe a couple in your purse or pocket. Do you see the cumulative effect of holding stressors over time? They are literal burdens that rob us of freedom, ease, comfort, peace, and joy (Do you hear the Christmas Carol in your head? Oh tidings of comfort and joy…)

This week listen for one full day and notice the number of complaints and discouraging words you hear. Notice the number of positive attitudes and expressions of gratitude you hear. How many of each came from YOUR mouth?

Go ahead and make your list of gratitudes. Keep first things first and take some time – even 5-10 minutes - to make your spiritual relationship your top priority. Let someone know how grateful you are for them and why you appreciate them (be specific). Do something great for your body. Hang out with someone you truly enjoy. Challenge your mind with something that engages you.

A man’s small plane went down on a remote island. After weeks of cold, hunger, and loneliness he had fashioned a small lean-to and could collect water and fish for food. One afternoon he returned to find that a spark from his cooking fire had burned all of his meager possessions. He laid down and cried in abject desolation. The next day a ship appeared on the horizon heading his way. He was rescued because of his smoke signal.

Look for the Blessing. Expect it. Give Thanks.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving Day,
Beth

To Friend or Unfriend?

This week “unfriend” ws declared the word of the year by the Oxford American Dictionary. It means “to remove someone as a friend on a social networking site”. The word’s merit derives from its currency and potential longevity.

This says something very unsettling about the mood of our culture. We “friend” and “unfriend” with abandon, and with disregard for the human being on the other end of the cyber exercise. Time spent in front of a screen collecting vast numbers of “friends”, and then “unfriending” those that fall short of our expectations on any given day, is an activity we need to be aware of. Each “friend” translates to a real person with real feelings.

I recently saw a t.v. commercial with a mom and two tween daughters at the mall. Mom is on her blackberry while the girls discuss a boy who is disappointing. In the time it takes mom to discover there is money for more shopping in her checking account, the girls “are so over him”.

This beautifully illustrates the reason we unplug for Family Night. No screens, no earphones, no beeps to remind us that someone wants our attention, no television, no telephones, no texting… Just you and your family - together, talking, listening, learning, working as a team, and enjoying each other face-to-face. With Family Night by the Book you will know exactly how to accomplish this feat with ease and fun! We even give you the makings of an Electronic Drop Box to help everyone be fully present without distractions.

The Quick Start kit includes a great lesson on friendship. Check it out!

Would You Have Noticed?

I have had several conversations and coaching sessions recently with people feeling restless, stressed, scattered, too busy – as if they are missing something, but cannot put their finger on it. Life is okay, family is doing well. Nothing is really wrong. But something is definitely not right.

Life is full, busy and fast. We often have the sense that what is most important and beautiful hovers on the periphery, just out of sight. Perhaps we will capture it tomorrow – or just as soon as we can carve out some time to really think about it.

We talk a lot here about staying in the moment; being mindful of what is happening in the present without thinking about the future, the past – or attending to the many thoughts that stream through all day long.

A couple of years ago Gene Weingarten, staff writer for the Washington Post, wrote a fascinating story about this very thing. I will cite parts in italics and you can read the complete article and watch the video by clicking here.


Joshua Bell, one of the world’s finest violinists, was asked to perform incognito as a street musician during morning rush-hour in a Washington,D.C. Metro station. He donned street clothes and took his 3.5 million dollar Stradivarius violin to a spot between the escalators, a shoe shine stand and a news kiosk. For 40 minutes he played some of the most beautiful and challenging music ever composed for over 1,000 people who passed by.

“The skin mags move, but it's that lottery ticket dispenser that stays the busiest, with customers queuing up for Daily 6 lotto and Powerball and the ultimate suckers' bait, those pamphlets that sell random number combinations purporting to be "hot." They sell briskly.
On Friday, January 12, the people waiting in the lottery line looking for a long shot would get a lucky break -- a free, close-up ticket to a concert by one of the world's most famous musicians -- but only if they were of a mind to take note.
Three minutes went by before something happened. Sixty-three people had already passed when, finally, there was a breakthrough of sorts. A middle-age man altered his gait for a split second, turning his head to notice that there seemed to be some guy playing music. Yes, the man kept walking, but it was something.
A half-minute later, Bell got his first donation. A woman threw in a buck and scooted off. It was not until six minutes into the performance that someone actually stood against a wall, and listened.
Things never got much better. In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance, at least for a minute. Twenty-seven gave money, most of them on the run -- for a total of $32 and change. That leaves the 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look.”

Mr. Bell admitted to being nervous, not knowing what to expect before he began. At first all his concentration was on playing the music, telling the story with his instrument. He didn’t really notice what was going on around him. He has played in the finest concert halls, with the finest orchestras, for crowned heads of state – where people stifle the slightest sound in awe and respect for his artistry. He acknowledged how strange it was to be ignored and to have no response as he finished a piece.

"At a music hall, I'll get upset if someone coughs or if someone's cellphone goes off. But here, my expectations quickly diminished. I started to appreciate any acknowledgment, even a slight glance up. I was oddly grateful when someone threw in a dollar instead of change."

I believe that everything important in life is about the nature and quality of our relationships and interactions with each other. That quote is profound. It speaks so deeply to our need to be acknowledged for who we are and what we have to contribute. I applaud Mr. Bell’s courage and vulnerability in revealing himself and his desire to connect with the people he was playing for.

Over 40 people were interviewed about their experience that morning. One mom, in a hurry to get her 3y.o old to day care and begin her day as an IT director for a federal agency, put her body between her son and Mr. Bell to keep him from pulling on her hand to stop and listen. All of the children who passed by noticed and wanted to stop, but were hurried along by adults…

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
-- from "Leisure," by W.H. Davies

“In his 2003 book, Timeless Beauty: In the Arts and Everyday Life, British author John Lane writes about the loss of the appreciation for beauty in the modern world. The experiment at L'Enfant Plaza may be symptomatic of that, he said -- not because people didn't have the capacity to understand beauty, but because it was irrelevant to them.
If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that -- then what else are we missing?”


Being mindful requires careful listening. In Falling Awake by Dave Ellis he says, “Most people think that listening is what we do when someone else talks. Actually, we can expand the meaning of the word listen to its large sense which means receiving everything at all times. Listening can be a way of life, an attitude toward all things, an open posture to the world. The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word listen: ‘To make a conscious effort to hear; to pay attention; to heed’. Listening fully means paying exquisite close attention. When you pay attention your world gets bigger.
Listening means receiving whatever the world is “sending”. At any given moment, the world is sending plenty – thousands of tastes, sights, aromas, sounds, textures, ideas and information just waiting to be noticed. If we’re not careful we might tune out this symphony of sights, sounds, and sensations.”

Are you listening to all the world is sending?
Would you have noticed the soaring beauty of Joshua Bell’s violin?
Would you have stopped to watch and listen?
Would you have acknowledged him with your eyes, a smile, a word of praise or thanks, a donation?

Blessings,
Beth

From Your Head to Your Mouth

“It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.”
Writer Sally Kempton

Last week we talked about the power of our thoughts, both positive and negative. If you missed it you can read the article “It’s All in Your Head” on the website or scroll down and read it here.


Right behind our thoughts come our spoken words (or in some unfortunate cases, our mouths get out in front of our heads). The following is paraphrased from In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado.

Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such majesty, splendor and strength.
People offered great sums for the steed but the man loved the horse and refused to sell, despite his poverty and great temptation.
One morning the horse was gone from his stable. The villagers called the old man a fool for not selling the horse before someone stole it. They scoffed at him for thinking he could hold and protect such an animal. He could have named his price, now the horse was gone and he was cursed with misfortune.
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know or judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The villagers laughed, more convinced that he was indeed a fool. He could have lived in luxury, but
was living in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven he was a fool with his foolish words.

Two weeks later the horse returned, bringing a dozen beautiful wild horses with him. The villagers gathered around him saying, “Old man you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again you go too far. Say only that the horse is back and he has brought a dozen horses with him. Don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment, not the whole story. Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t”.

“Maybe the old man is right”, they said to one another, so they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. The horses could be broken and sold for much money.

The old man had an only son. He began to work with the wild horses to break them. Soon after, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. The villagers gathered once again to cast their judgments. “You were right. The horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs and cannot help you in your old age and you are poorer than ever.”

“You people are obsessed with judging”, the old man said. “Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? We have only a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”

Several weeks later the country went to war and all the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded due to his injury. The villagers gathered around crying and wailing because their sons had been taken. The enemy was fierce and the young men were unlikely to return.

“God knows you were right old man”, they wept. “Your sons broken legs were a blessing. At least he is with you and our sons are gone forever.”

The old man spoke again, “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”



This story illustrates how our thoughts and words get us into a swirl of doubt and anxiety. We follow it up with lamenting and judgment that may or may not be true. The end result is a mass of reactionary chaos inside and out. Remember, a thought is just a thought until we attach meaning and emotion to it and act on it.

When we can take a step back, observe what “is”, and avoid making interpretations, we are in a calmer more focused position to think clearly and problem solve. Mark Twain said, “I have known a great many disasters in my life. Most of them never happened.”

How we speak about the events and circumstances of our lives has great impact on how we respond. Notice your tone and your inflection. Observe how the meaning behind your words colors both your choice of words and how they sound to your own ears. Then follow the action. What behavior results from the way you talk about the event or circumstance? Do others join you and follow your lead? What happens to the relationship(s) involved?

Since the economic downturn my business has slowed. When people asked me how things were going I would say, “It has slowed down some. I am not as busy as I would like to be.” That was true, but I began to notice some resignation in my voice. Now I say, “My clients are making great progress and I am always looking for new and exciting opportunities.” Do you hear the difference? It is also true that opportunities and clients abound. There are still 6 billion people (potential clients) on the planet and no money has left the earth either. It is still here. There is no lack or shortage. And – lo and behold – some new and exciting opportunities are showing up.

There is great power in our thoughts and words. Choose and speak wisely. Refuse to participate in negativity.

Life is DEEP and it is W I D E
emerge…Explore…EXPAND

Beth

It's All in Your Head

Scientific studies have estimated that you have about 60,000 thoughts each day. That’s pretty impressive huh? Until you realize that 98% of those are pretty much the same ones you had yesterday.

Victor Frankel was an Austrian neurologist and psychologist who survived the Holocaust in a Nazi concentration camp. He chronicles his experiences as an inmate and describes his psychotherapeutic method of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most sordid ones, and thus a reason to continue living.

Under Frankel’s care and encouragement, if a prisoner felt that he could no longer endure the realities of camp life, he found a way out in his mental life – an invaluable opportunity to dwell in the spiritual domain, the one that the SS were unable to destroy. Spiritual life strengthened the prisoner, helped him adapt, and thereby improved his chances of survival. Frankel attributes his own survival to the strength and health of his thought life.

I hope none of us ever have to face the horrors of a concentration camp – to challenge ourselves to maintain a positive outlook and a healthy thought life under such frightening conditions. Yet our everyday thought processes can trip us up in ways we may be completely unaware of.

Last week I discovered that Ravi Zacharias, a remarkable man and brilliant Christian apologist, is going to be at ASU for an open forum. The event is free but a ticket is required. I had two days before leaving town to secure tickets. I should also note that he is on my list of the people I would most like to meet in my life – strong motivation to get myself a seat! Procrastination is a thought process that creates obstacles in my life. Perhaps you are familiar with internal phrases like, “I will get that done tomorrow”; or “I’ll be going that way in a couple days and will take care of it then” or “I still have plenty of time.”

I left town for 4 days, procrastinated for 2 more and – SOLD OUT! This morning I had a good cry, chastised myself heartily and determined that I will go on the day of the event and camp out for several hours. I spoke to my friend Sally (thank you!) who suggested I call and see if there are volunteer opportunities that would get me inside. I am on a “list” and must call back on Monday morning. I repeated my name four times, expressed my strong desire to be a part of this event, and begged. We shall see…

Metacognition is a term that entails thinking about what you are thinking about vs. just having thoughts. People of strength are those who are firmly anchored. They are clear about their values, they are critical thinkers, and their thought life contributes to – and solidifies – their convictions. Thoughts are just thoughts. We don’t have to believe them or act on them. They have no meaning until we attach meaning and emotion to them. AND our thoughts have power. Acting on them after careful consideration translates that power into results.

I sincerely hope I will be able to hear Ravi Zacharias speak. If so, it will be an exciting and precious time indeed and made more so by the near miss. The point is, I could have avoided all of this turmoil by practicing a little metacognition, by moving and acting on a thought rather than dismissing it without really considering the ramifications. Stop and consider for a moment what the 98% of recurring thoughts each day could generate if we put a little thought into our thoughts. Where are you draining energy and power in your thought life? How could you shift your thinking to become an anchor and a place of strength for you? How does your spiritual connection generate power and conviction in your life?

“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if
anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8,9 Bible

Blessings,
Beth

Speak Your Significance

I love writing this newsletter. I love who you are and how you express yourselves and share your hearts and minds. I love your willingness to be vulnerable and just put it out there. I love being able to pass on your wisdom.

Did you know that MOMS constitute the largest blog group in the world? Talk about power and something to say! Recently a reader discovered that her blog - temporarily a source of pain, embarrassment, and hiding - had become the catalyst for some deep knowing, personal significance, and the voice of heart expression.

She was asked at a casual social gathering with people she didn't know well,why she thought anyone would be interested in her mundane daily activities. Here are some excerpts of her thoughts.

"That very thought has crossed my own mind periodically. It's that dark, nasty voice that tries to deter us from doing anything significant or meaningful. It's that voice that makes us our own worst enemy. I have fought that rotten voice off for the 3+ years I have blogged and crafted, reminding myself to ignore it and carry on. Well that one fateful night last year was the physical manifestation of "the voice". It looked me in the eye and told me that I have no place speaking publicly. That my life is insignificant and no one cares. Sadly, that was more than I could take. I subconsciously decided to close up shop and quietly retreat back to my apparently insignificant life as a stay at home mom."

She admits to being disappointed in herself for not recognizing the mean spirited intent, calling it out, and moving on.

"I allowed this person to take my voice. Not the nasty one but the self-expressive one. The one that makes me feel alive and connected. The one that allows me to vent all of this creative and occasionally stifled energy and, in turn, makes me a better mother...a better person.

Over the months that I remained quiet, a very sad thing happened. I lost my voice. I forgot all that makes my mind race and my pulse speed up. Last week I realized how much I missed this little outlet of mine. Sharing about my family and daily activities is fun and I love that my distant relatives and friends can stay in the know, but what I missed most was sharing me. My thoughts, my hardships, my isms and revelations. I processed my thoughts this way and, most importantly, I received good, positive feedback from people who cared.

So here I am, confessing the truth and standing up to say...no yell

MY LIFE MATTERS. MY THOUGHTS MATTER. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY IN AS PUBLIC A PLACE AS I WANT TO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT...HECK YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO COME HERE AT ALL. BUT IF YOU DO, MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN. AMEN"

Where are you denying your voice? Your heart? Your significance?
Where have you not told yourself the truth?
What are you longing to say - or YELL?

FAITH, HOPE, PROMISE

I had the great privilege and pleasure to attend a Tea Party Express Rally last week. It was held in a park in my home town, Mishawaka Indiana, just blocks from my childhood home. Whatever your politics, it is crucial that your voice be heard.

As we remember the events of 9/11 - all that our country stands for, all that we are doing to protect our freedoms, those lost, those who heroically served and survived, and those who would destroy us - not for anything we've done, but for WHO we ARE - there is a symbol of faith, hope, and promise in the midst of the pain and loss.

Watch this video and know that God knows, sees, hears and is ever present.

President Obama's Speech to Students

I have been asked by the Arizona Republic to talk about whether or not kids should attend and alternatives if they do not participate. The following is my submission. Whatever your politics or whether or not your kids will attend, this is a crucial conversation in our families, schools, communities, society, and in our churches and synagogues.

Blessings,

Beth

I have spent the last hour on google to get some perspective on this issue. My understanding of what the students will be asked to think about and answer is as follows:

During the Speech:

• As the President speaks, teachers can ask students to write down key ideas or phrases that are important or personally meaningful. Students could use a note-taking graphic organizer such as a Cluster Web, or students could record their thoughts on sticky notes. Younger children can draw pictures and write as appropriate. As students listen to the speech, they could think about the following:

What is the President trying to tell me?

What is the President asking me to do?

What new ideas and actions is the President challenging me to think about?

• Students can record important parts of the speech where the President is asking them to do something. Students might think about: What specific job is he asking me to do? Is he asking anything of anyone else? Teachers? Principals? Parents? The American people?

• Students can record any questions they have while he is speaking and then discuss them after the speech. Younger children may need to dictate their questions.

After the Speech:

• Teachers could ask students to share the ideas they recorded, exchange sticky notes or stick notes on a butcher paper poster in the classroom to discuss main ideas from the speech, i.e. citizenship, personal responsibility, civic duty.
• Students could discuss their responses to the following questions:

What do you think the President wants us to do?

Does the speech make you want to do anything?

Are we able to do what President Obama is asking of us

It would benefit all concerned to have more information about the content of the speech before deciding whether or not to allow children to participate. As a parent, grandparent, psychotherapist, and parenting coach here is what I believe to be important and helpful from the information available.

Discussion about civic and personal responsibility, the value of education, the importance of setting and achieving goals, and encouraging others along the way is extremely important and valuable conversation. I coach parents to engage with their kids on these topics and give them the tools to do so.

So where’s the rub? We want our kids to be critical thinkers, to have good problem solving skills, to be able to express their opinions and debate issues with those of opposing viewpoints. Parents, you’re on! The family is the place to learn these skills and practice them. Your child’s belief system determines how he moves through the world and you are the primary source of that set of beliefs. If we want our kids to make value based decisions, we need to be sure they have a firm grasp of those values and understand clearly why it is important to live and behave in a particular way.

Whether your kids will be in or out of school on Tuesday September 8, this is a wonderful opportunity to have some honest, direct, family-values conversation.

If your child will be participating, be there next to him. Take notes. Find out what your child is thinking about, dreaming for herself , and what worries him. Be crystal clear in your own mind and heart what your values are and what you want to instill in your kids. You set your family’s culture and identity.

Take each point and run it through the filter of your family’s values and beliefs. If you say, “The Smith kids study hard and do their best.” or “In our family being a student is your job, just like mom and dad have jobs.” Or “Our family believes it is important to volunteer our time and money to help those who cannot help themselves.” Or “We value hard work and taking responsibility for our words and actions.” Or “ Our family values include honesty, pitching in, speaking the truth in love, respect for ourselves and others, and worshipping God together.”(add all your own family beliefs and values here) – then you can listen to the speech and easily and clearly decide what is aligned with your family culture and values. Your children will be able to discern those things that do not align and you have an amazing conversation underway

I encourage you all to choose your words carefully. Emotions and opinions are all over the map on this one. Your kids are watching and listening. Do not provoke them to anger or fear. Use this for the good of your family. Use this to have safe, meaningful, discussions about tough topics with those whose views may differ from your own. Use this to teach your kids how to do that. Use this to find out what your kids are thinking and feeling. Use this to deepen your relationships. Use this!

Beth Madigan

Parent Coach

www.livewithintention.org

602.626.8036

The 7 Principles of Fierce Conversations

These principles are taken from Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. Enjoy and Implement!

Principle 1: Master the courage to interrogate reality.

Reality has a habit of shifting. People change and forget to tell each other. Not only do we neglect to share this with others, we are skilled at masking it even to ourselves.

Principle 2: Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real.

While many fear "real", it is the unreal conversation that should scare us to death. When the conversation is real, change occurs before the conversation is even over.

Principle 3: Be here, be prepared to be nowhere else.

Our work, our relationships, our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time. While no single conversation is guaranteed to transform a relationship, any single conversation CAN. Speak and listen as if this the most important conversation you will ever have with this person. It may be.

Principle 4: Tackle your toughest challenge today.

Burnout doesn't occur because we're solving problems; it occurs because we're trying to solve the same problems over and over. The problem named is the problem solved. Confront the real obstacles. Travel light - agenda free.

Principle 5: Obey your instincts.

Don't just trust your instincts - obey them. Tune in. Pay attention. What we label as illusion is the scent of something real coming close.

Principle 6: Take responsibility for your emotional wake.

The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship. Learning to deliver the message without the load allows you to speak with clarity, conviction, and compassion. (speak the truth in love. Beth)

Principle 7: Let silence do the heavy lifting.

When there is a whole lot of talking going on, conversations can be so empty of meaning they crackle. Slow down the conversation, so that insight can occur in the space between words, and you can discover what the conversation really wants and needs to be about.

T.W.I.S.T.

Oh! We are having fun with fierce women willing to have fierce conversations in the workshops! This week we discovered the secret to Getting Anyone to Do What You Want. T.he W.ay I. S.ee T.hings it's all about how you behave and what you say. BE the kind of person others are pleased to do things for - the kind of person others want to spend time with, to get along with, and to share themselves with.

Communicate honestly, directly, and clearly. EVERYTHING is about the nature and quality of our relationships. We succeed or fail one conversation at a time. Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations, says the conversation is not about the relationship - the conversation is the relationship.

She writes, "A fierce conversation? Doesn't fierce suggest menacing, cruel, barbarous, threatening? Sounds like raised voices, frowns, blood on the floor, no fun at all. In Roget's Thesaurus, the word fierce has the following synonyms: robust intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled, uncurbed, untamed. In it's simplest form, a fierce conversation is one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversation and make it real."

You know how I love a word study! I am loving the word fierce - don't you? Stay tuned for the 7 principles of Fierce conversations. Until then BE fierce.

Find Your Music

This week I had wonderful evening with some wonderful women. Lanette Rajski, my friend and colleague, and I facilitated a workshop called Quit the Chaos. Each woman came with some pretty daunting circumstances. Because they were willing to be honest and do some work, everyone left with tools to calm their minds, build energy reserves, and develop stress resiliency. Sometimes the biggest hurdle is carving out time for ourselves - seeing ourselves as worthy and giving ourselves permission to put everyone and everything else aside for few hours.

I want to invite you to do just that. Scroll down and register or click right here for an e-class (one that is delivered to your e-mail inbox and can be done on your own schedule) that will forever change the way you think of your wellness and the importance of taking time out to take good C.A.R.E of yourself! Don't hesitate. Don't tell yourself you will think it over. Don't wait for a "better" time. The time is now. Class begins Monday September 7! AND it is deeply discounted for this offering. See you there!

Now for more of When the Heart Waits. "It's anguish to come to that place in life where you know all of the words and none of the music."

She tells a story of taking a long walk on a chilly evening, feeling restless and frustrated. She came upon a cocoon and immediately knew it was an epiphany to grace her inner darkness; God speaking to her about waiting, transformation, and hope. She broke the twig off and carried it gingerly home where she grafted it, with duct tape, to her own backyard tree. "I stood at the window watching the cocoon, which hung in the winter air like an upside-down question mark. Live the question, God whispered. Crisis, change, all the myriad upheavals that blister the spirit and leave us groping - they aren't voices simply of pain but also of creativity. And if we would only listen, we might hear such times beckoning us to a season of waiting, to the place of fertile emptiness."

Summer days are dwindling. Fall is in the air with the promise of quieter and slower days. I know many of you resonate with Sue Monk Kidd's blistered spirit in the face of upheaval, change, and crisis. Are you being asked to enter a cocoon? Do you sense a shift ahead? Is transformation calling to your heart? Are you feeling anticipation - or anxiety - or both? Think of it as an invitation directly from God's heart to yours. Enter the chrysalis. Wait for the sound of the music - YOUR music.

When the Heart Waits

Goodness! The days fly by...I have had a great week with girlfriends at the lake and am currently ensconced in a Chicago suburb with my grandkids. On the way here I began a book given to me at the lake last week, When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, written in 1990. If you have read any of her books (Secret Life of Bees) you know what a gifted author she is and how her style draws you in. This one is really resonating with me. She talks about change, waiting, and spiritual growth or "soulmaking".

"It's always difficult and risky to try to put soulmaking into words. In many ways waiting is the missing link in the transfromation process...waiting as the passionate and contempative crucible in which new life and spiritual wholeness can be birthed."

She describes her life as making no sense, "curled up into the frightening mark of a question." To all appearances she looked and seemed fine, but inside she was in turmoil with a "chorus of orphaned voices crying out for all the unlived parts of me."

"As a woman I sometimes felt that I had been scripted to be all things to all people. But when I tried, I usually ended up forfeiting my deepest identity, my own unique truth as God's creature."

She began her journey of transformation with T.S.Eliot's question, "Do I dare/Disturb the universe?/ She wondered, "Is it possible that I'm being summoned from some deep and holy place within? Am I being asked to enter a new passage in the spiritual life - the journey from the false self to the true self? Am I being asked to dismantle old masks and patterns and unfold a deeper, more authentic self - the one God created me to be? Am I being compelled to disturb my inner universe in quest of the undiscovered being who clamors from within?"

I wrote to you in the last newsletter that I woud be blogging this month about whatever was put on my heart. I love God's synchronicity and timing. Thank you, Kim for the gift of this book and for listening to the nudge to give it to me. My universe has been disturbed and I am stepping in. I am not yet sure of what I am being asked to do but I know I will be given the grace and strength to meet the challenge.

Mother's Day All Year Long!

You all know we talk a lot about self care here. Join me for an eClass designed to help you take very good C.A.R.E. of yourselves.This offering is a pilot group and is deeply discounted.
If you haven't seen it or have procrastinated you can get the information and register by clicking here.

The class will be delivered to your e-mail inbox each Monday in September. Look for your back to school, time for me, takin' good C.A.R.E. lessons on September 7, 14, 21, & 28.

We will be underway soon and spaces are going fast!
Click here to read more and register!

It's a Four Letter Word

Knowledge is power. Isn't it? We've always heard that is so. What does it mean? What constitutes knowledge and what kind of power does it hold?

Let's unpack the word KNOW and see what we find there.


K - Knowledge is a key to something powerful. I looked up the meaning of key. It's for opening that which was locked. It also means something explanatory, as in a key concept or idea and is part of a reference system. In the world of music key refers to tonality or pitch. Doesn't what we know - or don't know - set the tone or pitch of our thinking, perceptions, and attitudes?

N - Knowing is the ability to put a name to what we know - to directly appoint or
identify it. A name is a descriptive word, referring to a family or clan, It has a
reputation attached to it. How do your family and the way you grew up contribute to what you know? What do others know about you through your name and reputation?

O - There's an object of our knowledge - "a person to which action or feeling is directed". There is a two-fold objective as well. First, to have an objective as a purpose, goal, or aim. Second, to be objective by being unbiased and free from personal prejudices. How has your knowledge been gained? What is your objective?

W - We like to think of knowledge and wisdom walking hand in hand. To be wise is to possess the power of discernment and of judging rightly. Wise people have knowledge, learning, and experience. Wisdom is the power to see and choose the best and highest goal, and the surest means to attaining it. How do knowing and wisdom partner up for you? Are you able to be unbiased and judge rightly? Where would you like to gain knowledge and wisdom?

I have asked you several questions. I recently read an article about the value of inquiry. The author's query was about our children. Are we teaching them to ask questions, to gain knowledge, to become wise? Or are we teaching them that there is a simple, quick answer and it is either right or wrong? As a coach powerful, provocative questions are at the heart of what I do. I say, by all means - ask the question!

This week think about what you know and the wisdom in your knowing. Then decide what you will DO with it. What's your objective? Go! That's where the power is.

Let us know what you KNOW and what you will do with it! What is the gnawing, relentless, objective rolling around in there? I am going to do some serious exploration myself in the next month. I'll keep you posted on the blog as knowledge and wisdom show themselves.

Soon,
Beth

THOUGHT WATCH

Last week we talked about this year's second half. you know what that means about the summer don't you?! Despite the busyness and speed of the "lazy" days of summer, we can all take some time to stop, get quiet, and practice some mindfulness. Let's practice a little right now. Really! Just 90 seconds while you are taking time to read this. Take a moment to stand, relax your head and shoulders, and drop your arms comfortably at your sides. Feel all four corners of your feet (if you can be barefoot and/or outside, all the better) firmly on the floor or ground. Now take 4 or 5 deep breaths with a calming thought atached. For example, "I am totally at peace." or "All is well"

Add a breath mantra with each inhalation and exhalation. "I am breathing in joy. I am breathing out frustration." Use whatever you need in this moment.

Read the complete article here and come back and post your summer mindfulness thoughts and techniques. We all want to know so we can benefit too!
If you don't already receive the newsletters click for your FREE subscription!

Let Freedom RING

Webster defines Freedom:

The absence of coercion or constraint in choice or action; Liberation from the power of another; independence, exemption, release, liberty, or license.

With vast freedom comes great responsibility. Read the entire article here

(after Friday) and post your thoughts.

What is your definition of freedom? What does it mean in your life?

RELATIONSHIP ABCs

I believe that everything is life is about the nature and quality of our relationships and the choices we make. Whether you are a spouse, parent, friend, sibling. boss, relative, employee, or acquaintance, you can apply the ABCs of Strong Relationships. We are designed to fit with one another and do life together. You will notice how these concepts entwine with each other - what I call God's synchronicity in the world.

A - ADAPT Be flexible. Everything Changes. No two people grow at the same rate.
"Blessed are the flexible for they shall never be bent out of shape." - M McGriffy -

B - BUILD UP Ask yourself if what you are doing or saying is building up or tearing down. Aim for positive,
healthy, helpful interactions.
"There are two ways of exerting one's strength - one is pushing down, the other is
pulling up." - Booker T. Washington -

C - COMMUNICATE Honest, direct conversation is usually best. Check in with the other person to be sure
you are both clear. If not, clarify and check in again.
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood." - Stephen Covey -

Read the rest of the article then come back and psot your own ABCs for Strong Relationships

SMARTS IN A SECOND

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland,"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

What would you add to this list? Let's create a list of "Smarts in a Second" to encourage us and give us a boost whenever we need one - FAST!

Twelve Transforming Words

There are four behaviors so toxic that relationship expert John Gottman has labeled them the Four Horsemen of the Apacolypse. Read about them in the May 7 newsletter archived here. The good news is that there are 12 Transforming Words that go a long way to heal the hurts left by the Four Horsemen.

What do you think? Do the Four Horsemen ride roughshod in your relationship? Are you willing to make some changes? Post your thoughts here.

It's all about the space between You and Me - the US that is Holy Ground. Nurturing and protecting that space is crucial to long lasting and fulfilling relationships. The entire article is here (after May 21). Feeling safe and creating safety for others are also paramount to achieving success. There has been considerable resonance and conversation about building relationships. Let's get some community dialogue going and encourage each other. I consider US to be Holy Ground and thank you for all you bring!

Let Your Dream SING!

Susan Boyle, 47 y.o., never been kissed, caretaker for her mum - walked out on stage and shared her dream in a way that will delight, astound and inspire you! Oh! God gifts us in such interesting and amazing ways. This is a treat. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-KiGva9dV4

Shake it Off and Step Up!

One day a farmer a farmer discovered that his old mule had fallen into an abandoned well pit he had been meaning to fill. He ran to get help from his neighbors but soon realized there was nothing to be done. Sadly, they began to throw shovels full of dirt into the pit. The hurt and frightened mule, understanding his plight, hung his head and brayed pitifully. Suddenly, despite dirt and rocks raining down on his back, he realized he could shake it off and step up. Thus began the arduous process of, just a little at a time, shaking it off and stepping up. Bruised and battered he was finally able to shake it off and step up over the lip of the well and onto the ground.

Are you facing some trials? Do you feel the weight of each shovel full on your back? I am ready to help you to SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP! You can live in joy and victory.

Read the entire article (after Friday) then come on back and share!

WHO HAS IT BEEN FOR YOU?

Here's a short quiz:
Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five Nobel Prize winners.
List the last few Academy Award winners for Best Actor or Best Film.
List the last five opposing presidential candidates and their running mates.

How did you do?
None of us remembers the headliners of yesterday - much less last year or last decade. These are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. And yet.....

Read the enitre article here; take a couple more quizzes and come back and post your thoughts!

PLANT YOUR GARDEN

I got this from my lifelong friend Nancy. I don't know who to credit it to.
Enjoy!
FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,
PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:

1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:

1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:

1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another

NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:

1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another

TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:

1. Thyme for each other
2.. Thyme for family
3.. Thyme for friends

WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE. THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

OH! Those Nasty Gremlins

Your gremlin is the narrator in your head. His objective is to make you
miserable, to doubt yourself and to crush any ideas you may have about
being worthwhile or purposeful. He is devious and insidious and will use any
means possible, including your past mistakes, to get you to live in fear of
stepping out. His aim is to keep you firmly inside his box of lies and
self-limiting beliefs until you are convinced they are true.

Read the complete article here. What are your gremlins? What agreements would you like to break?

This is a wonderful place to begin journaling! Join us for the workshop on

Thursday March 26. Scroll down for complete information. See you there!

Now I Know

At the beginning of each year I turn to a clean, blank page of my journal and record a Word, a Theme, and a Goal for the year.

At the top of this year’s shiny new page I wrote:
2009
The Year of CONVERGENCE
THEME: Walk with God
WORD: Adventure
GOAL:

Yada became a mantra and a prayer. It showed up in my journal dozens of times and it eased my fears and encouraged me to action when I felt I couldn’t act.

Read the article about how I discovered this year's goal and come back and post your thoughts.

Journaling Workshop

Have you been thinking about journaling? Would you like to be a more consistent journaler? Do you get stuck when you start to write? Come fire your imagination and creativity. Take a mini sabbatical and see what magical things can come in just 90 minutes of uninterrupted time for YOU.


In this workshop you will:

- Discover the benefits and power of journaling. Did you know it reduces stress?

- Get quiet and still. Quiet the monkey mind chatter, Ahhhh!

- Engage in a meditation to prepare you to write. Just let your mind drift - no agenda or time constraints

- Learn a wonderful technique for discovering what's most important to explore and write about.

- Do some journaling!

- Get a worksheet and suggestions to keep you goingWe will take our mini sabbatical via telephone.

If you have not done this before no worries - it is easy and fun. You can curl up in your favorite quiet spot with your journal, a cup of tea, and you can do it in your sweats or jammies!

Thursday March 26 6-7:30 Pacific time

cost is $20.00 There are a limited number of spaces on the bridge line so call 602.626.8036 or e-mail beth.madigan@cox.net today to reserve your space.

"I want to write but more than thatI want to bring out all kinds

of thingsthat lie buried in my heart." - Anne Frank -

WHY WEIGHT?

• Are you a carb addict?
• Have you tried several diets?
• Do you have the metabolism of a snail?
• Have you lost weight only to find it again with friends?
• Are you ready for a lifestyle change?

If You Answered “YES” to any of these questions…
You’re Invited to Become a Part of the Next
Transitions Lifestyle Class

The eight week program includes:
- A Transitions daily journal which outlines the program
- Easy to follow low glycemic meal plans
- Stress Resiliency Techniques and Personal Growth Coaching
- Weight Management Coaching with Exercise and Fitness Tips
- Weekly Meetings, Recipes, Educational Materials, and Resources
- Nutritional Supplements

ATTEND A FREE TRANSITIONS OVERVIEW
Wednesday March 18, 2009 10:30 – 11:30 a.m.
at
Phoenix Jazzercise 12228 N. Cave Creek Road, Phoenix
Join Fitness Expert Kim Fullmer
and
Life Strategist Beth Madigan LCSW,CLC
Classes will begin the week of March 23
Bring a friend. We’re better together!

What are you WEIGHTING for? Questions?
Contact: Kim Fullmer kfullmer1@cox.net 602.741.3681
Beth Madigan beth.madigan@cox.net 602.626.8036

Thump. Thump. Thump

The potter thumps his work to see if it is ready. if it "sings" it is done. It it "thuds" it goes back in the oven. We all have daily thumps that frustrate and challenge us. What's our response? Read the complete article and come back and post your thoughts. Let us know what works for you or how we can help you to cope in more helpful ways.

Ask the RIGHT Question

What is the RIGHT question? How should we think about things? From what perspective?
This is about allowing events to shape our thinking and drive our actions toward what we believe is right - toward standing strong in our highest values - toward reshaping events. Read the entire article here, then come back and post your thoughts. Let us know how you are being or will be changed. What will you do differently?

GIRLFRIENDS

Girlfriends make all the difference in women's lives. Watch this video and read the article, including an exercise, in this week's newsletter (dated Feb.5, 2009)

What do your girlfriends bring to your life? What kind of girlfriend are you? What aspects of your friendships would you like to change or grow? How does the exercise help you to think about your friendships and how you are perceived?

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.

For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his (her) companion...

A cord of three strands is not easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 The Bible)

A Matter of Degrees

Max Anderson and Sam Parker expressed a communication concept that is remarkable. Here it is:

At 211 degrees...water is hot.

At 212 degrees...it boils.

And with boiling water, comes steam.

And steam can power a locomotive.

And, it's that one extra degree that...

Makes all the difference.

Read the complete article here and Share the thing you will pursue with 212 determination and fearlessness! How are Fear, Doubt, Criticism, "Yes, but", and "What if" keeping you from what you really want?

Embrace Your Inner ________!

Truth, as I see it, is we can be whatever we want to be. We have to remove the labels we, and others, put on us. Jock, nerd, artist, right-brained, left-brained. None of those really mean anything because we are whoever we decided to be. And maybe, just maybe, my boy will embrace his inner artist....cool!”

Read the article here.

I have a couple of Inner_______! One is to play the piano. It is on my list of things for 2009. I am going to find a teacher for adults and will keep you posted. The other is laguages. I am good at them. They come pretty easily. I used to speak French and was fluent in American Sign Language but have not picked up my hands for years. I would love to add Italian and Spanish and would like to coach in Spanish and Sign Language.

OK - What's yours?

9 for a FINE '09

Amazingly, we are here again - the beginning of a brand spanking New Year. The world is in turmoil, our financial system is in chaos, and our political system is besieged. And yet, there is a hopeful expectation in the air. Can you feel it? I believe God does His best work in the darkest places. And necessity is the mother of invention. If you were laid off or lost your home, you've got to DO something; something different and something right now! If your business is showing the effects of the economic slowdown, you've got to get creative, resourceful, and motivated to try some new things! If you are feeling restless or discontent NOW is the time to stop, get quiet, and listen to the voice of your heart; to wake up, get up, and move up! You already have EVERYTHING you need to be the person you envision and to create the life you desire. Begin the DISCOVERY process and make 2009 really FINE - even downright SUBLIME

Read the entire article here - all 9 ideas for a GREAT '09. What one thing woudl make this a FINE year for you? Post it here and come back often to see what others are thinking.

GIRLFRIENDS GETAWAY!

Join us February 20-22 for a weekend of GREAT girlfriend time!

Change your perspective and make 2009 your BEST YEAR EVER! Relax, Renew and Reconnect in the company of some amazing girlfriends. Join us in beautiful, quaint Union Pier on the shores of Lake Michigan.This weekend is all about YOU. There will be powerful learning and discovery with a good dose of raucous fun and a sprinkling of quiet down time. Read and register now. DON'T MISS THIS!

THE REST OF THE STORY

More about Aunt Irma's Lesson. I left out a MOST important part of the lesson as it has developed heart and legs over time. I spoke with Lanette this evening. It is true that Hank neither knows nor remembers the flight down or the great birthday party in his honor. He was, in fact, surprised (several times) that all the birthday hoopla was for him. It's about the servant heart and doing the right thing just because it's the right thing. It's about how we treat each other. You see, the past several days have been hugely challenging - even heartbreaking. Difficult decisions need to be made. Hank is blissfully unaware of most of it. But Emma (Lanette's MIL) knows and Lanette knows and the nieghbors know and extended family and friends know. Love, sensitivity, compassion, support, advocating, planning, and standing in the gap for another are being modeled and lived. And that matters. Oh how that matters.