One of the finest things we can do for each other is to listen. One of my professors called it “paying exquisite close attention”. Most of us would say that we’re pretty good listeners – and that our friends are generally good listeners. They will stay quiet and be objective. Yet, sometimes – when we ONLY want them to listen, they will jump in to save us from distress, solve our problem, help us deal with strong emotions, or tell us about their own similar situation.
Listening is crucial to intimacy and safety and it is more than simply hearing what the other person is saying. Listening is an ACTION that has two components.
One is attention or awareness. It is listening with feeling and intuition. We listen for the words, the tone, the pace, the energy level – all the information that is being sent. Author and psychologist Larry Crabb refers to this as listening beneath. We listen for what is NOT being said in words, but is communicated through body language, emotion, and the meaning the person is attaching and the values and concerns being expressed.
The second aspect is what we DO with our listening – the impact we have when we ACT on our listening. Let’s take a look at that by examining two levels of listening.
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Come back and tell us what you discovered when you used all your LEVEL II skills!
Life is DEEP and it is W I D E
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