Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Joy of Acceptance


This morning I got a coupon from Borders and paused to watch a video interview with Michael J. Fox about his new book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future… Watch the video here.

He writes to graduates with suggestions for a richer life. I have always enjoyed and admired this man as an actor, but who he has become on his journey with Parkinson’s Disease is a crowning achievement and a testament to the power of attitude and acceptance in transforming a life.

Michael didn’t finish high school, pursuing his acting career from the age of 15. Years later, the father of four found himself helping with high school homework and college applications. He wondered how he was able to do this. What constitutes an education? How do you get one? How did he fill in gaps? In his own words, “I might have skipped class, but I didn’t miss any lessons.” Herein lies the secret to his great success. Read on and allow Michael J. Fox to school you today.

When he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease he had to reconsider everything. He describes that time as a “little death”. Through much soul searching and the help of trusted family and friends he came to see his illness as a new second take on life, a rebirth that could only come from acceptance.

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance,
and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” -Michael J. Fox-

I ask my coaching clients to complete a session prep form before each call. After asking them to list their current challenges I encourage them to reframe the challenge with this, “The situation has arisen precisely to move you to shift your viewpoint. Take the current facts and view this challenge from an angle that uplifts and empowers you. How is this also good?” Changing our perspective and consciously looking for the blessing changes everything about the way we deal with life.

I had this very conversation just yesterday with a client. She had become so frustrated and disappointed with her relationships that she was beginning to think she was kind of crazy. Not only did she have expectations about how others should act or respond, she felt responsible when things didn’t go that way; as if she must have said or done something to mess things up.

Michael brilliantly admonishes us to be “scrupulously honest” about what is. Stay in reality. Check in with the truth of who we ARE, not who we think we are or who we would like to be. I would add, ask yourself, “What is my responsibility in this situation? Keep drilling down to the truth of what is, then let the rest go and move through your day in peace.

The interviewer asked Michael what advice he would give to Alex P. Keaton and Marty McFly (two of his most famous characters).He responded that he would remind Alex that life is not linear. Expect and enjoy the twists and turns of the journey and don’t take yourself so seriously.

His advice to Marty (a character he loves) is to just hang on! Marty is so open and willing to grab life with both arms wide open, Michael says hang on and enjoy!

Thanks, Michael. I hope we have your wisdom and humor for years to come.

Share your stories of acceptance of what is. How did you find the joy? What did you draw on to reframe your situation?

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

You Decide!

The circumstances and events of our lives have no meaning in themselves. They become sad, joyous, tragic, puzzling, delightful, etc. only when we make an interpretation and attach meaning to them. Since life is all about how we interpret it - interpret in your favor!

If you're experiencing circumstances that have got you down, try reframing. To reframe, take the facts of your circumstance and adjust for a different viewpoint. Shift your attitude. There is great opportunity here to begin thinking in ways that will empower you and give you peace. How is this also good? Find the blessing in the challenge.

If you got a really bad haircut, use this opportunity to focus on your INNER beauty - and that of others too, rather than on appearances. Share observations and compliments about the other person's CHARACTER.

If you have lost your job, use this opportunity to comtemplate how much is enough. Where can you minimize your spending? How much emphasis do you put on your LIFESTYLE vs. your LIFE? What unique skills might you bring to the forefront? What doors are opening as this one closes?

Practice reframing. Start with something small. Choose a circumstnace that is unsettling or annoying and interpret it from another point of view - a positive, uplifting perspective! When life brings you lemons - add some sugar!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Why Your LIfe Won't Cooperate


I’m hearing frustration and discouragement from folks these days. We have just ended the first quarter of 2010 – the year of God’s Perfect Divine Order, a year of wholeness and power in which there is no lack or want. Yet, for many of you this year is looking pretty much like last year. You are struggling with the same issues and having the same thoughts and conversations. And it’s not for lack of good intentions or real desire to step up. You’ve read the books and know what to do. So what’s the deal? Why won’t your life cooperate?

If I asked you to list 10 things you would like to change or improve about yourself you could rattle them off pronto. If I asked you to list your ten most valuable strengths and abilities I’m guessing it would take a little longer and be much harder for you to do.

Sitting on your chair as you read this is one trillion cells (that’s a 1 with 14 0s behind it!) Your brain alone has 100 billion nerve cells – all “fearfully and wonderfully made” and programmed to contain and process more information than the entire internet. You are a GENIUS! It’s quite simple really. The reason your life won’t cooperate is that you have oodles of untapped genius.

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What are you thinking about your own undeveloped genius?