Principle 1: Master the courage to interrogate reality.
Reality has a habit of shifting. People change and forget to tell each other. Not only do we neglect to share this with others, we are skilled at masking it even to ourselves.
Principle 2: Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real.
While many fear "real", it is the unreal conversation that should scare us to death. When the conversation is real, change occurs before the conversation is even over.
Principle 3: Be here, be prepared to be nowhere else.
Our work, our relationships, our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time. While no single conversation is guaranteed to transform a relationship, any single conversation CAN. Speak and listen as if this the most important conversation you will ever have with this person. It may be.
Principle 4: Tackle your toughest challenge today.
Burnout doesn't occur because we're solving problems; it occurs because we're trying to solve the same problems over and over. The problem named is the problem solved. Confront the real obstacles. Travel light - agenda free.
Principle 5: Obey your instincts.
Don't just trust your instincts - obey them. Tune in. Pay attention. What we label as illusion is the scent of something real coming close.
Principle 6: Take responsibility for your emotional wake.
The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship. Learning to deliver the message without the load allows you to speak with clarity, conviction, and compassion. (speak the truth in love. Beth)
Principle 7: Let silence do the heavy lifting.
When there is a whole lot of talking going on, conversations can be so empty of meaning they crackle. Slow down the conversation, so that insight can occur in the space between words, and you can discover what the conversation really wants and needs to be about.